You know when you have been ...

A little while ago, I shared a couple of interesting stories regarding some of my students. There are more to come, one story at a time. Amongst my many years of teaching, I have encountered many amusing colleagues, the sort who you cannot resist 'setting up' as they so often walk around with both feet place firmly in their oral cavity.

Going way back I was given a mentor on my first day of teaching, the notion is quite laudable, have an experienced lecturer guide the newbie in the ways of the organisation. After about two months, I had 'sacked' them from their role, quickly recognising who in the team actually knew what they were talking about and had more about them than this numpty.

Over the following two/three years, they did not improve, fortunately they were on the whole easy to manage (for this please read ignore) and they were on their way. Maybe with a little subconscious encouragement from me ...

For contractual historical reasons, they were on a different contract than the rest of the academic staff, one benefit for them was the allowance of 14 weeks vacation over the summer. Once they had gone, another colleague and I would carefully shift their desk closer to the back wall, nothing dramatic, just enough to loose a little comfort space. We would ensure there were no wall marks, carpet marks or dust lines. It would take an hour, but during the summer the campus was quiet and the effort worth it.

Each year we would continue to do the same, colleague leaves for the summer, we would wait, then gentle shift their desk. Slowly pinning them in.

Every September on their return, they would pace around their desk area like a dog who has had their favourite sleeping blanket washed. Quite confused, they become more irritable and a source of amusement.

Eventually they left, declaring that teaching was no longer for them, they were right as education is a better place without their inept input.




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