What the world needs is a way to grade the quality of someones B******T!!!! ...


Many reading this, have heard of the Richter scale, some even the Beaufort scale, both mechanisms to allow us ‘average’ souls to understand the impact of an earthquake or the magnificence of a windy day.

With all of this in mind, I feel that it is time for a new and ultimate measure of impact, one of a more human and intimate nature … we need a :

Bullshit scale

It will take time for this scale to standardise and may need to be ratified to ISO requirements. Unlike many scales that operate in the positive, the bullshit scale needs to be bidirectional using positive and negative indices to represent the quality and impact of bovine ordure.

To describe the scale in simple terms, we need to look at zero and the outer values.

-5
0
+5
The best bullshit money could buy, the finest quality, undetectable, hence the negative number
No bullshit present
The worse bullshit, easy to detect and so obvious, that only a positive number can represent its value (or lack of)
-5
0
+5

I am sure that this will need some refinement within the -4 to -1 and 1 to 4 scale indices giving value and feeling to what they may mean when it comes to bullshit.

-1 could be tepid, -2 giving it some unsung glory etc.

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